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Today, Solomon and I turned over a new leaf. Today we were 4 weeks post labor, delivery, and birth, and starting to physically feel a little better and get acclimated. I got a teeny bit of sleep last night. I’m not going to lie, that makes all the difference in the world.

The last 4 weeks have been a blur. I don’t really remember Christmas. And I took a nap late on New Years Eve and missed midnight. Today it was time. Time to accomplish a few things. And that’s when I discovered this…..

It’s magic. I can make a sandwich, get the mail, and rock my sweet baby to sleep all at the same time. Second only to the “boppy”, my life is forever changed.

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(runner up of the day… “Boppy”)

AND… Today, I got a smile. It was a good day.

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Blog world, I would like to introduce our first born son, Solomon Isaac Ritchie! Contrary to my belief that I would be pregnant forever, Solomon was born Sunday, December 18th, 2011 at 7:49 p.m. in Amarillo, Texas. He weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces and was 20 inches long. We labored long and hard (labor story for another blog) for over 48 hours, but nothing has ever been more worth it.

David did amazing. He was my hero through the entire process and never left my side. He prayed for me, recited my favorite passages of scripture, and went through every contraction with me. I’m healing quickly and feeling better every day. Solomon is a beautiful and healthy baby boy, and he already has quite a personality!

Thank you for all your prayers and support. We will never be the same again!

“Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! “
Psalm 34:8

Now for some photos!!

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Meeting Solomon face to face.

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Moments after delivery!

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Being weighed.

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Proud daddy:):):)

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Proud momma!

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Sweet baby Solomon!

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This is what some will say, even when abortions are determined by gender and race discrimination.

As a pro-life, self-proclaimed Christian feminist, I find myself baffled by female pro-choicers.

I’m not sure which is more confusing to me, the fact that ending the life of an unwanted, unborn child is somehow a decision of personal health and right.

OR that fact that many pro-choicers are against/opposing/fighting a bill that bans abortions that are being elected because of gender and/or race of an unborn baby. Even when the individual is claiming to end the beating heart inside of them NOT for “personal health or right”, but in discrimination against that beating heart’s gender (nearly always because couples desire a male instead of a female child) or race, the bill is still being fought by pro-choice advocates. Women standing up for the so called “reproductive rights” of women are fighting for women to be able to discriminate against an unborn woman and end her life while she has no voice.

The contradiction is baffling.

Please don’t hear what I am not saying. I’m not writing this to judge or condemn any woman who has had an abortion. I am, however, challenging the logic of those advocates against this bill.

Someone please explain this to me. The reasoning is about to make my brain explode.

Read about this debate in The Washington Post in a recent article.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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Hospital bags are packed!!
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Waiting. Waiting to go into labor. Waiting on baby boy to make his grand entrance. It must be some cruel, cruel joke that no one can tell me when this is going to happen.

I’ve read the blogs about the signs, quizzed my doctor, and read my books. They all says the same thing. My body is to have this baby; I’ve got contractions, nesting, and progress. No one can say when labor will actually happen, and until it doe I will probably unpack and repack my hospital bag, David’s hospital bag, and the baby’s bag….again. Oh, you heard it, AGAIN! That is if David successfully hid my mop from me.

I’ve only felt this kind of waiting one other time in my life, and it was right before our wedding day. David and a few of his friends took 5 days and drove from Texas to Ohio for the big day. I was totally in wedding-moving-freak-out-task mode, and he was having a blast seeing the country and making hilarious videos. ( Which by the way, I offer those up for your viewing pleasure HERE.) I was just so ready to see him and marry him and spend the rest of my life with him.

Funny thing is, that’s exactly what I’m doing. I don’t take that for granted, but I am spending the rest of my life with this man. Which is exactly what I’m going to do with the little man we are waiting on to get here.

I guess it’s time to just rest in the fact that we really control a whole lot less in our lives than we think we do. God brought me David to spend my life with. He is such a good gift to me. God began life inside of me and created this precious baby boy. And what a wonderful gift he is to me already. We must not forget that God is both completely sovereign and good. Completely in control with our best interest in mind.

James 1:17-18
” Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.”

Until then…. We wait!

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THIS is how Calvin waits!!:):)

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38 weeks pregnant!!

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Room all ready!

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(This makes me smile:):) )

I know where I’m going, but I don’t have some secret special life plan.

I’m not “following my dream” or letting me “heart lead me”. I’m not following the path to my destiny. I’m not naturally a decisive person. I rarely even know what I want to eat. How in the world would I know what the end of my life should look like when I don’t know what to wear today?

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to know the end of my story; I’m like the ultimate planner, goal-setter, list-crosser-offer. By the way I live, people often make the mistake of thinking I know where this train of life is taking me. Here’s my secret…

The answer to why I do what I do and live how I live isn’t in some special knowledge or compelling feeling, rather it’s dictated to me by the framework of my life.

You see, I see the world through one lens, and that doctrine drives my life and requires of me all that I am. It’s stronger than reason, feelings, and even my own desires. Ironically, it’s in a loss of control, that I have found a life of freedom and adventure.
It’s what the Gospel requires of me.

Worship and Awe.

The Gospel message is so beautiful. It’s so personal. It moves a person right down to their core. The Gospel satisfies all the longings of my heart for love and significance. God’s love is so unbelievably passionate and sacrificial. Every time I hear about it, it’s never old. It still makes me cry. It still moves my heart.

This is why I follow Jesus. This is why He is the center of my affections. My life is my offering of worship. Therefore, it’s with great joy and out of love for Him that I live each day.

How does this effect my life?

Decisions, goals, and future aspirations only matter to me if they bring glory and worship to my God. This helps me make good decisions, hard decisions, and ignore things that really don’t meet my objective.

Willingness.

“It was for the joy set before Him that He endured the cross…”

Jesus willingly endured discomfort, pain, suffering, and every human emotion for me and for you. He was willing. Willing to follow the wishes of His Father in heaven. Willing to walk in a place of faith and dependency on His Father. Willing to live His life for a greater cause.

So often, we do not live our lives from a place of willingness. But when the Gospel really penetrated my heart, I became unbelievably thankful. And it was was from that place of gratefulness, that I became willing. I am willing to give up all things, including control, because of what Christ has done for me. The unbelievable reality of living willingly out of control and in faith is that you find in that God is always good. His love for me and for you always gives us a good, fulfilling life.

A loss of comfort.

The Gospel requires that we loose the ability to be comfortable. As humans, and especially Americans, we worship being comfortable. The idea of comfort may differ from person to person, but ultimately it’s our goal in life, our object of hope, our personal “savior”.

Why does this change because of the Gospel?
It changes because you experience a true and greater Savior! This Savior satisfies much more than comfort does. Because He gave up all comfort as God and became a man, we can draw near to Him. It is in that place that we are filled with love, significance, and purpose. Suddenly, comfort in life just seems like a cheap substitute for what is found in Jesus.

This has drastic implications on my life. I’m emboldened to live a life that in not merely afraid of loosing something, rather I am free to live a life of faith running after something much greater.

A motive of love.

The thing that motivates your life ultimately drives and steers it. Many people struggle with motivation in life. Often, I see it two ways:

1. They don’t know what motivates them, or their motive changes depending on how they feel. These people often feel stuck, indecisive, and unsure. Many times these people spend a lot of time trying to please other people. Sometimes they convince themselves that it’s out of love, but really it’s to receive a good feeling of acceptance from that person. (I was this person, fo sho.)

2. This person is genuinely motivated out of what they can get out of life. Deep down inside they feel like they are failing, and they use it to drive them harder in life. They chase a carrot that never makes them feel good for long, and at the end of the day they are always wishing and hoping for more out of situations, people, and life.

The Gospel can and will change the way you are motivated in life. The love of Jesus ruined me. When I really understood how much God loved me, I lost the ability to really enjoy living for me. His love made me love Him, as well as, naturally and genuinely love other people too.

True love doesn’t expect or need anything in return, so when I love God it isn’t because I’m afraid to not love Him. I love Him because I love Him. It’s such a wonderful, fulfilling way to live. It changes my perception on my life and the people in my life. It’s no longer about what I do, but how I love.

A desire for redemption.

This history of humanity is about redemption. The mission of God from the beginning to the end of time is redemption. The Gospel is not just the story in a few chapters of the Bible about Jesus dying. It’s from the beginning of sin until He comes again one day. Our hearts are longing for this work to be complete. The world and creation longs for death to be no more. God’s mission on this earth is redemption.

When your heart is redeemed, made new, made whole because of faith in Christ, you now have the opportunity to be a part of the only thing that matter in this life. The desire for redemption is birthed in your heart. Truly redeemed people have a desire to see people experience the love, grace, and wholeness that comes with a relationship with Jesus. We want to see sick people well, broken people healed, lost people found, and empty people full of love. The Gospel gives you a mission of redemption. The Gospel gives you true purpose to live.

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(all natural photo…this is what 9 month pregnant and loving it really looks like folks!)

This week I’m working on my “Birth Plan”.

Oh yes, I guess you need one of those now. Its funny how we think we can control the whole labor and delivery thing. Yeah, like I’ve been able to control anything about this pregnancy. My body has been pretty much possessed by pregnant. It takes over. Its a beautiful ride.

So, I’m just going to say it, when people ask about your birth plan, what they really want to know is if you are going to get an epidural. Are you having a “natural” delivery or not?

This whole natural thing is about as much as a fad as hippy flare jeans coming back in style ever 10 years or so. I mean really. A fad in NYC right now is c-sections. I watched a recent documentary talking about the c-section rate being over 50% in NYC. ( national average 20%, Amarillo average 18%) Why so high? Control. Women would rather have the convience of planning and adding on a tummy tuck with their c-section than having a normallabor and delivery.

So back to the big question I keep getting asked, natural or epidural. Which fad will i subscribe to? Which method of control?

Let me respond by making one comment, “Ladies, stop it!

We really need to end this battle with being in control and comparing ourselves to one another!

Kate rant coming……

I’d like to punch the doctor who degrades the woman who has a natural birth by calling it “Macho Feminism.” (That doctor was a man. Ha!) Likewise, I was deck the chick who thinks everyone’s birth experience was just like her’s and able to be natural. Here’s the deal, pain, experiences, and bodies are different for everyone. Get. Over. It. Making someone feel like they are weak because they got an epidural is like telling someone getting a c-section is wrong because it’s not natural. Hello! There’s a reason our infant mortality rate doesn’t suck anymore, it’s called modern medicine. Epidurals are another means of modern medicine.

When I first got pregnant, all these competing voices where pushing me back and forth. Then I finally realized that no voice other than my own was going to make this decision for me, and I certainly wasn’t going to let fear, pressure, or comparison decide how I wanted to spend one of the most important moments of my life.

I’ve weighed my own pros and cons. If I do this thing naturally it will be because the benefits are worth it to me, and because I’ve given up control of the pain that will take over my body to God. If I get an epidural, it will be because the benefits are worth it to me, and because I’ve given up the control of being in charge of my own pain to God.

As for what is written in my birth plan, that’s between me and David. When your time comes, I hope you can decide what’s best for you, and let that be that.

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(over 9 months with baby boy)

Many of you have been wondering what is next for me and David. We have been in the process of praying and discerning what exactly this new work God was calling us to was supposed to look like. We finally feel like we have clarity on what that next thing is!

The story is on my husband’s new blog! Please check it out by clicking the link below!

www.davidritchieamarillo.wordpress.com

Thank you for all the prayers and support!!

-KR

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Things I Do When David Is Gone:

* Watch documentaries. Usually ones that make me cry.

* Sleep with the dog. And with the lights on.
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* Clean. I mean, the OCD kind of cleaning.

* Wear his clothes. Shhhhh, it’s only because they smell like him…and they are comfy.

* Eat weird food.
Dinner #1 Subway and chocolate chip cookies.
Dinner #2 a scone and a chicken sandwich from Chicfila
Dinner #3 a peanut butter and honey sandwich
Enough said…..

* Break something at the house. This time it was my phone.

* Stay in and pretend I’m not home too.

* Tweet sad, romantic tweets.

* Listen to rap music that makes my corgi hide.

* Start projects that are way too big and ridiculous.

* Play Words With Friends with my dad.

* Nest. Oh yes, I am N.E.S.T.I.NG.

Hey, North Carolina if you see my hubs, please tell him to come home before this prego self-destructs.

*Did I mention go a little crazy?

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5 Favorite Things About Being Pregnant:

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5. The Pregnant Treatment.

Oh, the pregnant treatment! While this independent woman could certainly take or leave, ok, leave, people doing things for me. There is something both humbling and good about a little dependency on others. A older lady at a deli this week actually got angry and offended at me this week for opening the door for her! No matter how hard it is for me to accept, there’s something pretty nice about people noticing one another. It makes this world feel a little smaller, and a little more like we are in this together. Oh, and we are! This is something I probably need to realize and accept more.

4. Changing Body.

Surprised this is on my “favorite” list? Me too. Honestly though, it’s been wonderful and healthy, and eye-opening to see my body change drastically. It has radically changed my perspective on the value and worth and beauty of my body. I mean, we are practically drilled since infancy on the definition of womanly beauty in this culture. A culture, mind you, that equates female beauty with female beauty.

Pregnancy, however, has radically opened my eyes. I have never felt more beautiful. Sure, I still have my moments, but overall seeing my body transform completely out of my control into this vessel of life hasn’t taken from me a feeling of independence and personal value. Instead I feel more valuable than ever before, more like a woman, more like me.

This may or may not be because I’m pregnant. Maybe pregnancy eradicated a misperception about beauty and freed me to think more accurately about what beauty is. At any rate, I love it. And I’ll be honest, so does my hubby. He honestly thinks I’ve never been more beautiful.


3. My Brain Is Expanding Too.

Research says that when you move, your brain actually grows. It forms new neurological pathways, broadens understanding, and relates things to new things to help process information. I totally experienced this when I moved, and I would argue that it feels the same way to enter such a drastic change such as motherhood. I’m starting to learn so much, and I’m reading so many new things. I’m learning about random things like breastfeeding and fetal development and breathing techniques during labor, but ultimately I’m integrating a whole new category into my world. It’s so exciting, especially for a nerd like me.

2. Strengthened Marriage.

Another unexpected “favorite” right? Most people assume that marriage would become harder with the addition of another being into the circle of your life. Roles and tasks begin to separate and define even more in the marriage relationship, and one might assume that this division would fracture a sense of closeness. And I guess it probably could, but it can do quite the opposite! We have seen this change challenge us, give us a sense of mission together, and we even need each other so much more already. With every fear, concern, or challenge we’ve have a commitment to get through it together. It takes a complete commitment, self-less humility, and oneness to achieve, but it sets us up for a marriage that is actually strengthened during adversity. It’s been great.

1. Being So Close To One That I Already Love.

It’s amazing how much you can fall in love with a little person you’ve never seen, but as this sweet boys grows so does my love for him. It’s wonderful that he’s growing and breathing inside of me, because I’m learning him. I’m realizing he already has a personality. He already loves and knows his daddy (every time David talks to me or preaches, or prays, or even does a wedding he wakes up and starts kicking…and yes, he really can hear and recognize voices already.). It’s great to have him so close to me. He feels safe and close, and I’m reminded of what a blessing from God each time I feel him kick and squirm!

Our Big Change: A Wife’s Perspective

David and I have been maneuvering through what is, quite frankly, the biggest transition of our lives up to this point. I’m well acquainted with change. We are practically on a first name basis. David and I had been sensing a season of change on our horizon for some time, and honestly until a month ago we didn’t know what that change would look like or when it would happen. Change is here, and everything about our lives will be different from now on.

I’ve wanted to write about it, talk it out, and share my heart. But things have been moving quicker than I could even process. I’m sure this won’t be the last blog about this massive transition for us, but I would like to say that it is the first.

Our Transition…

Something happened when “the two became one” in our world. With the collision of our lives that happened with marriage, came the collision of our callings in this life. We knew before we were married that we were called to be in ministry. And it wasn’t long after we were married that we both felt deep in our hearts that we would be a part of starting a new church one day.

It took a while to come up in conversation, but when it did it was awesome. At that time we decided to put our feelings and future to prayer and rest. We’ve earnestly prayed, but we also felt the need to rest in the present. We love our church of over 20 years, and we love the young adult’s ministry of North. We didn’t feel a need to press the future until God opened that door in our hearts.

David has been faithfully serving as the minister of North for four years and has been on staff at our church for the last seven years. We love everything about what we do and where we are. This was why, when our hearts began to sense change early in 2011, we were surprised.

The Process…

When David and I began the process of starting a family, we truly believed that our vision for our future was….well, in the distant, distant future. But almost simultaneous to the time we found out we were pregnant, we felt from God that change would be birthed around the same time as our child. Strange, yes. Not really ideal, I must admit, but we began to be convinced of this.

Doing what God asks you to do always costs something. Let’s face it, the things that matter in life always cost the most. Moving forward with what God had put in our hearts cost us the comfort and security of our church and job and financial provision. We had to be honest about what we were feeling and even the motives of our hearts.

As we moved into spring and summer, we took a step of faith and shared with our leadership at the church the direction God was leading our future. They were so gracious to lead us and pray for us. And in August, they decided to release us to do the work that God was asking of us in October.

Change Isn’t Always Bad…

I can’t tell you how unbelievably relieved I was to have the blessing of those in authority in our life. I had never prayed so much about something in my life. I feel privileged to have been led by such amazing leaders and been a part of such an amazing church, and my heart is always to honor them in every way.

This change is a wonderful (Scary, yes. Faith-filled, yes.), but change almost always hurts. It hurts to leave, and it hurts to let go. It’s hard to say goodbye to a wonderful ministry and church, even if its not to physically move away. There is always the opportunity for misinterpretation and misunderstanding during change, and I am so thankful for a church that has been so supportive. Our church has even given us provision through the end of this year.

Our Hearts…

So, as we begin this new adventure, we offer our lives to God. We want to see him glorified through how we live, our marriage, our family, and our future. We want to be a part of His mission on this earth. We want to preach and display the Gospel with our words, actions, and thankfulness.

We want to see families and churches be born, raised up, and called to that same mission, in the same way that our church has been a place to be raised and called. We feel a call to “go” into our city and be a part of founding a church that will found new churches and revitalize old ones.

We want to build up and strengthen the body of Christ. We want to take what God has formed in our hearts in the last season of our lives outside of our current four walls. We want to bring a passion for Jesus and the Gospel to a city saturated with religious knowledge. This is our heart.

What’s Next For Us…

Last night our last night at North. Yesterday was David’s last day on staff at Trinity Fellowship Church.The ministry will continue, but not with us. We will move forward with the vision that God has put in our hearts for a new thing in the city of Amarillo.

Stay tuned for more updates as we know more about what is coming.

Thank you for the outpouring of prayer and support!

KR :)

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