Posts Tagged ‘fat’

If the scandalous title of this post is just catching your attention, you are joining in the middle of a discussion about the way women think about the word “fat”. I’d recommend hitting up my previous post if you haven’t read it yet.


9 months pregnant with Solomon Isaac.

It’s amazing how many people describe pregnancy with words like “fat”, “big”, “huge”. Towards the end of pregnancy I couldn’t believe how many people would say, “Wow, Kate, I can’t believe how HUGE you are getting.” It’s amazing to me how growing a human being inside of my 5’3″ body could even have a fat connotation. And I’m not just blaming other people here, seeing the scales increase and clothes stop fitting while I was pregnant wasn’t easy. It was very tempting every day to “go there” in my head.

Let me be honest about something. The scariest thing about seeing that little “+” mark on my pregnancy test last March was how having a baby was absolutely going to change my body. I’ve had some wins and losses with the Lord in my mind with the “fat” mindset and comparison, but becoming pregnant was the first time I had to make the decision to give up complete control, to lay down the rights to my own body.

Nineteen years in the world of competitive sports formed my perception of my body, not to mention the media and just being a woman! I’ve spent the majority of my life in a gym. I’ve been a competitive athlete in gymnastics and track. I’ve done dance and kickboxing. I’ve coached competitive gymnastics, track, and cross country. All of these things are fun and good, but it taught me that my body was for me. I’ve always had control. There have been times in my life where I’ve been healthy and balanced with that control. There have been times in my life where I’ve been extreme, and I’ve used that control to get a feeling of security, to feel good about myself, and to numb fear. Ultimately, whether I was being healthy or unhealthy one thing remained true, my body has always been something I used for my own glory. And that’s where what I believed about my body (with healthy or unhealthy actions) was wrong.

Every growing day of being pregnant felt like a day I lost more control as my body was molded into something completely abnormal than what was normal for me. Iā€™m sure most girls feel this way. The pinnacle was the process of laboring- seeing my pregnant tummy, feeling the intense squeezing of each contraction, and knowing that my body was forcing the exit of the little boy I had carried for nine months.

People say that giving birth is a miracle. The moment Solomon was born was one of the most amazing spiritual experiences of my life. I didn’t tell Solomon’s lungs or brain to form, but my Creator God had used my humble body to create and call a living person into existence. And I had absolutely no control over any of it. I could take no credit. I could only be humbled and overwhelmed at the beautiful thing God had done through my body.

As Solomon took his first few breathes of life, I was reminded of our gospel. How it tells of one who literally gave up his body so that we can have new life.

He had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not (Isaiah 53:2b-3).

He actually knows how it feels to have your body be out of your control. He knows it better than I ever could. My body was never designed for my own glory. It was designed only to tell the story of His glory.

Solomon Isaac in his daddy’s arms just a few hours old.


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There’s about 20 different blogs swirling in my head about this topic. I finally realized I have to just start writing. Luckily I plan on writing about the “F” word until the day I die. This is what you have to look forward to.


There I said it. Probably the worst word a woman can say out loud. Funny thing, because we hear it in our heads quite a bit. This word has moved right out of the medical world and camped out in our brains. It spends its days distorting our thoughts and our self-perceptions and nights scaring the crap out of us with every commercial we see and every comparison we make.

Now I’m all about being healthy, but let’s be honest here, when it comes to the “F” word, no matter what our body shape, most of us aren’t thinking (or therefore acting) in healthy ways. We think too much about the “F” word. We criticize ourselves and others. We make constant comparisons. We are excessive or extreme to silence it. We do whatever it takes to numb what advertisers and media and culture and moms and all of society has drilled into us since we were little girls.

What is your thought life like in this area?

If your internal dialogue was written out, would you read it out loud?

How much time do you spend thinking about it?

Would you do whatever it takes to not feel fat?

How do you treat your body because of how culture has taught you to think about this word? Are you excessive or extreme?

Do you compare your body to other women’s bodies often?

Whoever isolates [her]self seeks [her] own desire; [s]he breaks out against all sound judgment. (Proverbs 18:1 ESV)

First things first, I think it’s time that we talk about this as women. We spend our lives pretending this isn’t something that consumes our minds! We would hate it if people knew how much we think about our beauty, because then we would have to honestly say we don’t have it all together. Don’t you see, if the enemy can keep us believing that no one understands, that our thoughts are justified, and that we are the only one thinking like this, then we are isolated. We break out against all sound judgement. And let’s face it, that exactly what has happened to all of us! There’s so much more to life! Our bodies were made for so much more! Our worth comes from so much more! It’s possible to be free!

I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Psalm 34:4-5 ESV)

My next blog will further this conversation, but for today let’s begin with being honest. This is an area that I am not perfect in. I don’t have it figured out. I struggle. But this is an area that I’ve dedicated to the Lord. I’m making the daily decision to allow Him access to this area of my mind and heart, even if that means that all my worst fears about the “F” word come true. He’s worth it to me.

Does God have access into this area of your life? Or is this something you keep to yourself?

Today, I’m asking you just to make the first step. Ask yourself who is getting the glory in your mind and heart. Ask yourself who is getting the glory of your body. Now pray and tell the Lord that He has access to this area. Turn over control.

More on this coming next time. Please share in the comments your thoughts.
Love you!

Wig or Beard? šŸ™‚

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